Old Jewish Woman!

I know you're wondering if I ever got my free McDonald's McSpresso beverage. I predicted I would forget to redeem said coupon, and although this is not the case, it is not too far from the truth.

After work I go to the McDonald's by my train stop, which is filled with the most shady people I have ever seen in my neighbourhood. Go figure. And someone STEALS my coupon! No, that didn't happen. Could you imagine? No, no, no, the problem was that this particular McDonald's had no McCafe. No, McKidding! I then go home to get ready for my triple-threat - dancing, singing and Cirque du Soleil - audition and hope that there might be a McDonald's in the area. Why is it that the golden arches are everywhere until you despretely want one to be there? My coupon did expire. You just can't halt time. I left my audition that night after midnight, and one of my first thoughts after hiting the fridgid air was, "It's cold!", followed shortly by, "Ahhhh...my cooooooooouuupon...".

My audition was LONG! Almost five hours. Lots of waiting. Lots of uni kids. Lots of uni kids asking me what I was doing at their school. Although the experience began in horror as the waiting area sounded like a club and smelled of beer (Hello! I am an ac-tor from New York!), on entering the audition rooms the evening took a turn for the better. I sang, I danced (and actually somewhat followed choreography), and of course, acted. I had a moment during the monologue portion, in the midst of five male auditioners yelling out characters for me to impersonate - "Old Jewish Woman!" "Evil witch who is afraid of getting melted by water!" "Southern Cheerleader!" "Disfigured Sidekick!" - when it dawned on me - "EVEN MORE DISFIGURED!" - that in an audition setting, us actors will do nearly anything. "A fish that's just been caught and is wriggling around on the ground!" I didn't do that one...but I'm pretty sure I would have if they asked. It would have been funny. For them.

P.S. If you're wondering about the picture of Jack Nicholson at the top...I Google imaged "Actor" and this is the first image that came up. I wonder if he knows that about himself. Followed by: James Marsden, Matt LeBlanc, Keanu Reeves and Patrick Swayze. There you go, the best actors in the world.

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