Fantastic Fig and Cat ~ America's Got Talent Audition

Part II of "TV: It's a TRAP!"

"It's time to DANCE!!!" I love the cat's involvement in this piece.

TV: It's a TRAP!

"All the people'll be asking, 'WHO ARE DEM?!'" -two hefty dancer women, on how they anticipate the audience will respond to their performance

I am wondering who dem are.

I'm watching America's Got Talent and finding myself a lot distracted. We got dem girls busting a move, Yo-Yo boy and Susan Boyle II, and after the commercial, some circus kids are going to motorcycle inside the "Globe of Death".
Sound of TV smashing through window and falling six stories. An explosion follows. 

Okay, I've pulled myself away. 

You have to be careful what you sit down and watch, cause some junk will SUCK YOU IN.

Earlier tonight, I joined my dad who was watching a show on Discovery Channel about electric eels and how they murder people. So interesting! These things'll kill you! Beats me how Ariel survived the zaps of Flotsam and Jetsam.

I don't know about you, but if I sit down and watch Food Network...its like, "What?!... It's 2015?!... Are you serious?... How did that happen?!"...

I'm not bashing TV. I actually wish I was a bit more caught up on current television trends. I've come to realize that all I watch are re-runs of old sitcoms, Bugs Bunny, Food Network and Home and Garden Television. (Uhh, and I stumbled upon 'Manhunter' once on OLN. Awesome.) Although I don't really renovate or cook much, when the time comes I will reveal my knowledge and impress a whole room of people. And they'll say, "Laura, you are so knowledgable." And I'll say, "Mmmm. Yeasss."

Reading is also good, but I've been working on Harry Potter 7 for about a month. It's thick.


Telephone Phobia

I used to have Telephone Phobia. I dreaded more than anything having to make a phone call, whether it be to the hairdresser or to my best friend. So I'm talking when I was, say, (I dunno, when do kids start using phones?) 6 years old, until age, um...17? I don't remember, but it went on for a long time, this fear of phone calls.

The cure, as goes for ALL fears, was to get a job as a Customer Service Rep in a call center. To clarify...I do not mean to say that working at a call center cures all fears, more so the facing of one's fear. i.e. If you're afraid of lions, you should go spend the night in the Serengeti. 

Though this fear has mostly been worked out of me, I realize that on occasion, it is still an issue. I am the QUEEN of screening calls. I do not like to answer the phone. I probably shouldn't say this because now people will think I'm purposefully not answering my phone. Hey, there are times when I legitimately cannot come to the phone. Is that a crime? Gosh, cell phones are the worst. (And the greatest.) But my point is that, since I've been looking for a job, I've been getting phone calls from different businesses, who have the heart to meet with me for an interview. And every time the phone rings, I stare at it for a few moments and deliberate as to whether or not I'm going to answer the phone. EVERY TIME. And then, I ultimately figure that I'll just have to call them back anyway, so I might as well save myself the time and answer it right then.

I'm certain that this is why texting and emailing has become so popular. They are by far the easiest and least-scary forms of communication. You can take time to think about what you're going to say, Google something if you have no idea what someone is talking about, and you can use a thesaurus to sound more smarter if you want. Some people don't even have calling plans on their phone. They only text! I don't know any of these people personally, but I know for a fact that there are plans like this offered.


Laura Searches for a Job

Guys! This whole, looking for a (paying) job thing, is really hampering my online blogging/vlogging productivity. But hey, this is life, right?

In spite of this, I did spend some time this week brainstorming some new ideas for my website, which I'm really excited about. I reckon that in most endeavors, you eventually get to a point when things run a bit dry and you have to stop and reassess. So reassessment is happening. 

My MacBook and I have become even more intimately acquainted over the past few weeks as we rarely leave each others side. Or front. I've been constantly looking for work and editing and re-editing my resume. Job hunting is a lot of work, but its exciting too. A new opportunity, new people to meet, new employee discounts to take advantage of. Note: Beware the initial shock of working retail and wanting to buy EVERYTHING. They might as well pay you in clothing and shoes. Not good.

Today I had a five minute interview at one of our lovely Canadian-to-the-core retailers. You have to hustle in a five minute interview. One question I really should have prepared, and one that YOU should prepare immediately is, "So, tell me about yourself." Agh. I was reading just last week about that exact question in this Acting book in regards to an agent interview, and you think I could remember what I read? No, of course not. So I just blathered on about how I'm an actor and I'm a super excellent individual, as I gasped for air; the resulting combo of nerves and having to walk up two flights of stairs immediately before the interview started. But in five minutes there is no time to catch your breath. You suck it up and push through. 


What To Do When The Weather Sucks

I don't even know what season its supposed to be right now, but I do know that its been awful rainy and I'm wearing a wooly sweater. And I'm watching hockey. WHAT...IS...GOING...ON?!

It can be disappointing when the weather isn't cooperating with your sun-tanning plans, so I thought I'd compile a list of alternate activities you can do when the weather sucks. Unless you want to go play outside in the rain. Then just go. This list isn't for you.

  1. Read your friend's blog. Or catch up on world news or whatever.
  2. Go through your cupboards and throw out everything that's expired. As an alternative, pull it all out and invite your friends over for a party.
  3. Jump on the bed and sing, "My Favorite Things" from Sound of Music.
  4. Write a poem. Then call random phone numbers and share your poem with them.
  5. Practice handstands against the wall and pretend you're Luke Skywalker.
  6. Rearrange your furniture.
  7. Rearrange your roommate's/parents' furniture.
  8. Break out the glitter and get crafty! Make "I love you" cards for all your pets.
  9. Watch the cartoons you used to watch as a kid, and realize that they're probably even funnier now than they were then.
  10. Go to Costco wearing rollerblades. Have a friend document the event for you.
  11. Re-read Harry Potter. Your Harry Potter super-fan friends will shun you if you don't know what's going on when the last movie comes out. i.e. "Wait, who's Harry Potter, again?"
  12. And lastly...for you people who I told not to read the "indoor" list, go outside, find a grassy hill, and make yourself a good old, rainy Slip-n'-Slide.


Things I like: Kensington Market

It's been a busy few days. Today I've been spending time in the city, so I'm feelin' pretty good. Tired, but good. I worked my improv chops last night at Second City for my class and then a jam called, "Improv Night in Canada" where we get to wear hockey jerseys and pretend we're hockey players while we improvise. or something. Yeah, my team won. Just sayin'.

But TODAY, I had lunch with a friend and since I didn't have much going on in the afternoon, she suggested I go to Kensington Market. The last time I had gone there was in the 9th grade, and all I remembered was men on the street carrying around big hunks of meat. But there's general knowledge that people like Kensington Market, so it was time to give it another go.

For me, part of moving to a new city is learning to fall in love with it. So I'm gung-ho for seeing new areas of Toronto. I want to know all my friends' favorite places, streets, cafes, and shops, so that I can steal them and call them my favorites too. 

Anywho, its been freakin' hot today, but still, I trekked westward to the market. I won't lie...I almost gave up and retreated to Starbucks. That's so LAME. I'm just thinking right now that I don't want to be a lame Starbucks person anymore. Currently I'm at Second Cup. sigh. Did you know they have limited WI-FI??? WHY did i come here? Sorry...I've drifted.


What Not To Wear

I don’t know what it is, but I have an insanely difficult time dressing myself when I’m living in the suburbs. Most of my adolescence, I was either poked fun at because of my clothing choices, or labelled more of the free spirit type who “doesn’t care what anyone thinks” or one who “just wants to be comfortable.” And I guess that’s true. I often don’t care what anyone thinks (as long as I don't see anyone I know), and who doesn’t like to be comfortable? I don’t think anyone wakes up in the morning and thinks...I want to wear my most uncomfortable outfit today. Except perhaps Lady Gaga. I once saw her wear an outfit made of rubber. I can’t think of anything more uncomfortable than that.

BUT, shortly after I moved to Manhattan, something miraculous happened. Well, something that had its beginnings after this one time I watched The Devil Wears Prada. I decided to start dressing well. I wanted to look fashionable and to wear clothes that fit me. It helps when the majority of people around you are also trying to look trendy with well-fitting clothes (on second thought, that depends where you hang around).