Tips For Surviving a Canadian Winter

  1. First off, winter doesn't technically start until December 21st, so suck it up! Until then its best to stick to sneakers and a fall jacket to later avoid the shock of "real" winter. When winter hits, then you can sport all your subzero gear. Positive affirmations such as, "I am feeling warmer and warmer each second," and "I love the refreshment of this season," help substantially.
  2. A sunny day does not mean a warm day. On the contrary it means its, snot-freezes-in-your-nose cold outside.
  3. If your car door freezes shut, try to enter through either the passenger side or through the back doors. If they are all stuck, its acceptable to stay home from work.
  4. If your mailbox freezes closed, use a lighter or flame torch to melt off the ice. Get creative!
  5. When shopping for a new pair of boots, always look for a pair with a good tread, or you might end up dead. Honestly, its an ice rink out there.
  6. Be sure to take part in fun winter activities like: building snowmen, ice skating, tobogganing, skiing, snowboarding, ice sculpting, dog sledding, ice fishing and seal hunting. Be sure to bring trusty firearms if you are going to try your hand at polar bear poaching, which I might add, is frowned upon.
  7. If you are from out of town, try adding words like, "hockey", "Tim Hortons", and "eh" into conversation.
  8. And most importantly, always have some good lip balm on hand. You don't want dry lips to put a damper on this magical season.
I hope these tips will better equip you to make these winter months a success!


  1. Nice rhyme in #5!

  2. i second the chapped lips thing. my whole winter would be ruined if it wasn't for the chapstick industry.