Chicken TV

I'm over at my Aunt and Uncle's house for my Grandma's 90th birthday party and as the evening is drawing to a close, my cousin thoughtfully asks me if we have Rogers Digital Cable. 
"Yeah, I think so," I say. 
"Have you ever seen Channel 208?" he asks. 
"Uh. I dunno." 
"Okay, come here," he smirks as we go into the TV room. He flicks on the television. "Check this out. It's the Swiss Chalet 'Rotisserie Channel'."


"WHAAAT?! Are you serious?!" (said with an equal amount of shock, unbelief, and glee.)

This is what I saw:

YES! It is actually a 24 hour-a-day channel in which you can watch rotisserie chickens cook.

 Though I don't think you ever see them stick raw ones on the spit and watch them roast until doneness...its more of a looped recording of nicely browned, glistening chickens that just keep spinning. I found this quote regarding the channel from The Toronto Star newspaper:
“We really want this to be about celebrating rotisserie chicken,” Daprato said. “This is what we do. We serve chicken Canadians love.” (Mark Daprato, Swiss Chalet’s vice-president of business development on thestar.com) 
Swiss Chalet is an incredibly famous Canadian restaurant chain that, yes, you guessed it...serves chicken. If you watch long enough, they have coupon codes that go across the screen, where you get discounts on your order, I guess. I still can't believe it. I think its insanely funny and ridiculous.

But that's not all! Not only do they have a Rotisserie Chicken channel, but they also boast an Aquarium Channel...

A Fireplace Channel...

And a Sunset Channel...That I don't have a picture of, but believe me, it is just as unsatisfying and bizarre as the others. Again, you aren't ever able to actually watch the sun set...it just loops around to almost setting. I think that if I sat down and watched it, I wouldn't be able to look away unless someone turned it off. Like the way you can stare at a screensaver on your computer for hours. (That's why I don't have a screensaver anymore. Because people would ask, "Where's Laura?" "Oh, she must have gotten caught up watching her screensaver again.") And if they didn't turn it off, I'd probably go mental waiting for the never setting sun to set. 

If fish and dead chicken can get their own channel, why can't I, I ask? I'm not asking for 24 hours a day...that would get a bit 'Truman Show', but perhaps I could snag a half hour on the Chicken Channel? Laura eating chicken? Or Laura watching a sunset? Laura going scuba diving?

My cos and I also brainstormed some other channel ideas that we thought might be better:
-the Fireworks Channel
-the Softly Falling Snow Channel
-the Watch Flowers Grow Channel, or even,
-the Desert Storm Channel.

Well, I just wanted to share this experience with you guys. Can you tell I don't have cable in New York?


  1. Oh hey, I don't have cable in New York either! And, for the most part, I don't miss it...except for Turner Classic Movies, which, if I had my way, would probably be on in my apartment 24/7.

  2. I don't have cable in Toronto!! That's kind of hilarious though. It would be awesome if they put in raw chickens so you could watch them turn the golden brown, but then again i understand the Swiss Chalet advertising: "you'll never get golden-browned chicken like this unless you come to Swiss Chalet"....Kind of stupid, but understandable.
    As for the sunset, that's mad annoying. I think I would sit and just watch it every time, HOPING that the next time it loops, the sun will finally set!
    As for the "let's watch the flowers grow".....only if it's done in real time.

  3. Haha...sorry for the lack of cable, guys. I guess you could go to a restaurant and just watch chickens on the rotisserie LIVE.

  4. This is insanely funny! I don't know whether I should keep laughing, or be more embarrassed as a proper fellow Canadian should be!! This is first rate entertainment right here! HA!