My Parents' Trip to the Caribbean

"Families are like fudge - mostly sweet with a few nuts." -Unknown
I think my family is hilarious. We all have a good sense of humor...most of the time. I feel like being around family provides an endless supply of comedic material to riff off of, and blog about. This must be why so many comedians talk about their families, and why sitcoms are based on them. I was only home for a few days and writing ideas kept flowing in. "I can blog about this, and this, and this!" This made my mother nervous.

My parents are going on a trip to an undisclosed island in the Caribbean (for sake of privacy from the paparazzi). A couple months ago, my mom tells me that she and my dad are planning a vacay. The fact that I have been to many a beach without them does not so much change the fact that they are going to the tropics without myself. They're pretty excited. Making sure they have nice swimsuits and sandals and other beachwear. But the preparation doesn't stop there. OH NO.

It has become somewhat of a ritual for my family to go tanning before they go on the trip, so they will have achieved a substantial "base tan" if you will,

to heighten the sun's performance on said vacation. I was always against this, (I didn't want to get cancer and die) therefore I would burn like a lobster on most trips. So when I got home, my parentals already looked like they had been away for a week in the Caribbean sunshine. And I'm not the only one who thinks so; Some of my dad's work colleagues, that he doesn't see as often, have been stopping him in the office and asking him how his trip was. He replies, "I'll let you know when I get back!"

My mom decided that for the first time in her life she would get her legs waxed. She didn't want to shave while she was on holiday. For those of you who don't know, you have to grow out your hair for the wax to be able to grip it. For most ladies, I think we would be somewhat happy to have an excuse not to shave...aside from, winter. But this is a woman who doesn't miss a day of shaving. "Its terrible!" she tells me. "I've been wearing your dad's knee high basketball socks to bed so I won't feel my legs." Thankfully this time has passed for her. I'm not sure what was worse: having hairy legs, or getting it ripped off. Ouch.

I got up one morning to the sound of some kind of salsa or mambo music playing in my parents bedroom. I honestly didn't pay it much attention and went downstairs. My mom was in the kitchen and eventually I asked her what was up with the music. "Oh, your dad's just preparing for the Caribbean." And he was. 

When I shared this post with my parents, my dad added:
"I also spent about two weeks thinking of what pipe tobacco to take with me...not to mention what pipes. (He smokes pipes.) Then there is the books...what books to take (He reads books.)...finally settled on Romeo and Juliet, the complete Sherlock Holmes stories and Beowulf...yes Beowulf. Quite the selection ne ce pas?"
When I asked my mom if she had read the post I emailed her, she said, "Well, I've only had a chance to skim it over quickly while I was waiting at the tanning salon." (I couldn't make this up.) A couple minutes later in the phone conversation..."Your dad just got home. Oh, he looks dark. I think he went tanning on his way home."

Sometimes the expectation of something great is just as fun as the actual something great. I told my parents that I got a new bathing suit just in case they decided to bring me along. Nice try, Laura. 

Geez, I wish it would warm up.

Thanks mom and dad for your willing contribution. :)


  1. This is absolutely hilarious! That totally sucks that you've been left behind so many times before. It's funny, because whenever my parents decide to go on a vacation somewhere warm, they seem to forget to ask me. But when we are going somewhere cold (colder than Toronto in the winter), they seem to be right on the ball to ask. funny how that happens....
    Also the leg waxing....was dying. ^_^

  2. Ha! Blog divertido Laura!
    - Dad